American McCarver

This site’s namesake, Tim McCarver, had a minor heart procedure Thursday and has missed the first two games of the ALCS on Fox.

I wish Mr. McCarver a speedy recovery and a healthy, long life. I also wish him a lengthy and joyous retirement.

By which I mean, Tim, this broadcasting game. It’s too stressful. You have just had a “minor” heart procedure—but how minor can anything regarding your heart be?

And that Joe Buck! He’s got to be like a shot of caffeine right into the heart muscle. I don’t think your cardiologist would approve.

Plus, Tim, there’s that recording career to think of.

So Tim. We’re your pals. Quit this broadcasting racket. You’ve broadcast the past 21 postseasons. You’ve left your sta—er, mark—on the game. Get out while you’re young. Get out when there’s another “Tim McCarver Sings Selections from the American Songbook” still in you.

Don’t just do it for the American viewing public. Do it for yourself.

(I hear Jeannie Zelasko has a line on some good timeshares. You should look into that.)

Thank you, sir. And I hope you feel better.

[Speaking of which, best wishes to TBS broadcaster Ernie Johnson Jr., who is missing the postseason for family reasons.]