Getting Away With It
With the news that Alex Rodriguez will not be punished even if he did participate in an illegal poker game (complete with cocaine use and a half-million dollar scuffle), we here at American McCarver thought it would be handy to finally set out once and for all a complete list of activities that A-Rod can get away with:
- Steroid use
- Illegal gambling
- Unsavory associations
- Opting-out
- Walking over the mound
- Batting under .200
- Ball-slapping (both kinds)
- Getting $30 million a year to play a fucking game
- Smugness
- Arrogance
- Killing, cooking and eating:
- Endangered species
- One B-list celebrity a month
- Any human child under three years of age
- A magazine photo-shoot wherein he fucking kisses himself
And, of course:
- Just about anything he wants to, apparently
Baseball
