The Only Game in Town
Dear Gary Bettman:
As you are aware, both the NBA and NFL have gone into lockout mode. You remember what a lockout is, right? 2004-2005 non-season? No Stanley Cup? Yea, I thought you would remember that.Â
Well, football and basketball are facing a similar situation now. At the same time. You know what this means, Gary? This means that in October, after
the Yankees win the World Series, the National Hockey League could be the last league standing. At a time when the nation is usually overwhelmed with sports, there will be just hockey.Â
This is the NHL’s chance to shine, Gary. A golden opportunity to grab the attention of sports-starved citizens looking for a fix. You need to swoop in on the failure of the NBA and NFL to come to an agreement with their players and use it to your advantage. It’s called exploiting the weaknesses of others, Gary. It’s what good business people do.Â
You start with an advertising campaign using a catchy slogan like “The Only Game in Town” and you take it from there. Get some NBA and NFL players who have nothing to do and use them. Hell, Ron Artest spent last night on twitter looking for a job. Give him a few dollars to promote your game. Take a few bucks out of Roberto Luongo’s salary or something to pay him.
Â ”Hi, I’m Ron Artest, also known as Metta World Peace. When I’m not abusing exclamation points on twitter I like to watch hockey games.”
Like that. Or, have some NFL players team up with NHL players. A buddy system thing. Aaron Rodgers and Sidney Crosby can make some appearances together and Aaron can say things like “Now my Sundays are free to watch my BFF Sidney play in the NHL!”
I don’t know, Gary. Work with me here. I’m trying. Bring in the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. Have LeBron and Dwyane drop the first puck of the season. Produce a show called Hockey Wives. Pay Shaq to tweet about NHL games. Show the world that the NHL has its share of showboating players, enormous egos and non-sports entertainment value just like the NBA and NFL. Just do something with this opportunity.Â
You’re never going to a chance like this again, Gary. I know you have a tendency to not do what’s right for the league and to fix things that aren’t broken and, in general, do what you can to ruin the game. Here’s the moment where you can do the opposite of what you usually do. The right thing. The National Hockey League can fill a huge sports void come October. Don’t waste this.Â
The only game in town, Gary. The only game in town.